When everything you do seems like a waste

As years go by, the government-mandated standards just keep rising, and we are increasingly asked to force students into learning experiences they're not ready for. It's a high-stakes, high-pressure field. I read an article recently about students in California who drop out of high school because they've taken Algebra 5-6 times and can't pass it (it's required for a diploma). Among African-American males, not receiving a high school diploma is a strong predictor of future prison sentences. But legislators in California and elsewhere didn't create this situation: they responded to the evidence that students who don't succeed in high school math can no longer graduate from college. It's just that way in the 21st century.

How can we keep strenuous effort without feeling like a cog in an abusive machine? The truth is that 99% of students can master and retain algebra. We have to keep the faith: there are ways to do this work as it needs to be done for almost every student who walks through that door. When you truly own the experience, "Oh, this can be done!", then part of your brain rests from the need to blame everyone when things seem to be a big mess. When it's not being done, "Oh, that's because that essential ingredient is missing. This is like this because that is like that." Whether to roll up your sleeves and dive in with a vision of how to transform things depends on the situation--what will work in some situations is just beating your head against the wall in others. But my experience was that, with this gradual realization, my mind didn't chase every comment it heard about teaching success with its own defensiveness: "Well, they can achieve that, but I can't because blame, blame, etc." Or, "Hell, I could probably do that, too, but I'm not going to give up all my friendships, family, and sleep to meet some standard." Or, my own deeply-ingrained pattern: "It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"

Which is not to say that things settled emotionally for me because everything started to go right in the classroom. Maybe it's just that now I believe in the system: we're not just pretending; we actually can do what we say we're going to do (even if, in some cases, we're nowhere close yet). If tests after a big unit show little learning: "OK, I know there is some way to make this work (that's where the strenuous part comes in). Right now, this is like this because that is like that. What sort of thing would actually work?"

The answer is out there somewhere. And when you find it, you'll know.